No more pacifier

Be aware, this is a long post..... :c)

Last weekend we decided it was time to take away the pacifier. I believe it was harder for me to let go than it was for Morganne. It's one more step towards being a big girl and further from the baby she used to be. We have been only allowing it at night and nap time for the past 7-8months anyhow, however it was her sleep trigger and with it, she would most often close her eyes within minutes of putting it in her mouth. So, with 3 days of no work ahead, I thought last weekend would be a good time. I used some advice that I had read in a magazine about cutting a hole in the tip of the pacifier and still giving it to Morganne. She immediately, took it out of her mouth and looked at it and then handed it back to me. We explained it was "broken" and that she didn't need it anymore. It was pretty simple. She didn't really resist, only fussed for approximately 5 min. and slept the entire night that night. (Have I mentioned we are blessed with a pretty laid back little girl.) Nap times were harder, but within 3 days she was no longer asking for it, even at the sitters.
This last week was pretty trying for the little girl however. Our regular sitter was gone so she went to friend's houses each day instead. By Thursday she was screaming and clinging on to me to not leave her. It really breaks your heart when you can't explain to them why. We noticed that she was having troubled sleep last week too, crying a bit and calling for Mommy even though she was still asleep. I think it was small nightmares of separation anxiety. On Sunday night she actually woke up and I could tell by the cry that it was out of fear and anxiety. I decided to get her up and lay with her on the couch for a while. This is not something I normally do, as one I don't like reinforcing behavior that could be hard to break later and two, Morganne has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks old and rarely does this opportunity ever arise. That night however, I think I needed it just as much as she did. She instantly fell asleep in my arms on the couch. I realized a few minutes into it, that this may be a very uncomfortable night for me. As Justin can attest too, I am a very restless sleeper and do not stay in one position long. I debated taking her back to her crib after about 20 minutes, but found myself praying to God to find out what I should do. Stay here with Morganne and let her sleep comfortably, or put her back in bed so that I may sleep comfortably and hope that she does too. Instantly I was reminded that parents often have to sacrifice for their children and that she wouldn't be small for long and this opportunity would not be around forever. So, we laid on the couch, she slept, and I tried to stay comfortable. At one point, while still asleep, she began crying and calling for Mommy, even though she was still in my arms. I just held her tighter, and said "I'm here, I love you" and she instantly settled. About two and a half hours later, I finally took her back to her crib. She had rolled to my side which made me more comfortable and I was afraid since I had begun dozing that she would fall off the couch. She was very relaxed and slept the rest of the night fine. This was such a rare opportunity for me, and I cherished every minute. I realized that as parents even though we live our separate lives and our children may not always understand, our sacrifices shape who they are and in turn make us better too. Since returning to her "regular" routine of the normal sitter, her nightmares have stopped and she is back into her normal sleeping habit.
Sorry this is so long, just wanted to share about a special moment for me. We are so blessed.